Childless, when you wished for a family

a husband, children, home

words we create through history to mean

fixtures, permanence, notions of …

you had to find another way

and girl, you did

your home was the universe

animals, nature, flowers, mountain tops

your children were the universe

we listened, we grew, we thrived

on your journey you took us

we loved you for that

we loved you in radiance and bloom

you, you, you

who had not the chance of typical things

nor the freedom, nor the fairness

often my heart ached for this

till you would say: Appreciate what remains

do not give up

and we wouldn’t, none of us, near or far

we held onto you like stars catching stars

in a velvet universe calling for you

I didn’t want you to go

you’re never ready for losing

but go you went finally

a gentle radiance

a loss where you had stood

as if brightness could never be quite as bright

yet we were transfixed

by the candle in our window

it flickered as if a strong wind caught its tail

and then casting the room in its glow

just as you did, just as you did

it extinguished and we had to go on

without you and with you within us now

for love refuses to end

just as you, reminded me

hold hope in your heart

stay in laughter, stay in sunlight

find joy in the smallest thing

fight even when you cannot

never give up, we’re in this

forever.

yehi zichra baruch

yehi zichra baruch

yehi zichra baruch

Cordelia’s final book Well Done Me is for sale via Amazon.