My child sister

bending in the wind like green willow

your back as yet unburdened

you smile the way I once smiled

before my back grew heavy and

I gave up a little of my spindled joy

replaced it with counterfeit

hid behind distraction and ideas

of advancement

like they would feed me the succor

you bathe in with your green limbs

flexible and strong

it is not even the stretch of years dividing us

or my self-hate for the mistakes I have made

though they weigh me down, as I try to stand straight

the change, when it happens, is so

unnoticable, we begin to give way

our freedoms and expansion gifted

days pass fast and furious

heady and filled with potential

we walk through them unseeing

poised for a prize that doesn’t exist

running from our errors like school children

with deluge

loathing ourselves and hiding disappointment away

an unopened box beneath our bed

did you know they used to put murdock there?

to ward off pregnancy and devils — I must have

drunk a deep cup myself at some juncture

for my hands are empty this long while

as I look to my sides where those I believed

would stand, are fled

I believe it is those robbed expectations

a disintegration of what’s envisioned

the future would look like

that left me reeling

spinning in circles at times so fast

I want to fall and yet hold myself up

for what? I cannot always say the reason

for going on, other than we do

and you will too

although I hope

when it is your time to change from green

to oak and become

that tree supposed to have roots

you will be better prepared than I

not with flighty notions but some sense

of what matters most