Dare we hope when hope
has knives?
Faltering light shone
on what has not become
How radiant once
the longing, the hot brow of belief.
Then, I loved a girl who
reminded me of starlight
run through with electricity
nothing could contain her
she swallowed universes
with her ink blue eyes.
When I think of her now
she’s staring at me, disapproving
without needing to say
what have you done with yourself
since last I pushed you to do more?
I sense her disappointment
like a stain on my tongue
from sucking on lead pencils
a home ground tattoo
as I daydreamed my way
into decades and folded forget-me-nots
to press ahead and let go of fear
ash falling from the air
a reminder
we will soon run out
of time.
When I think of her now
years gone like children grown
boarding trains to places hard to pronounce
I recall how she burned in the sun
and still the redness of her cheeks
made my stomach somersault
how streaks of salt lightened her hair
casting her fae in a strange land.
Before I knew what desire could spell
in the backseats of cars still warm
at midnight, to the drunken caw
of night creatures
winking unseen in the desert
malcontent with hunt.
What if we loved still as bravely
as a child without guile?
The ease with which we close down
each year a little more
and forget how gently we cherished
girls with eyes of ink and hair trailing sea
I call to her some nights
wondering if she will reply
from her lost indigo shore
it’s so long now, I suspect
she wouldn’t recognize me
not the extra fold of my eyes
but how I forfeited seeking
lost the shine of longing
traded away for a snatch of peace.
Who will call me now
when I dive in the deep?
Pull me back from the brink
and laughing with straight white teeth
remind me, with urgent hands
we only change
if we want to
I love this! There are quite a few stanzas I’d quote, but I especially love the tone and descriptions in these lines:
“run through with electricity
nothing could contain her
she swallowed universes
with her ink blue eyes.
When I think of her now
she’s staring at me, disapproving
without needing to say
what have you done with yourself
since last I pushed you to do more?
I sense her disappointment”
Definitely worth the read–always.
I sat for some moments lost down the paths of memory, searching for such as she, not one complete package do i see, but partials. Then, I felt what this poem of yours and others have moved in me, and I wonder if it might be you issuing the dare.
Achingly gorgeous. My heart is in my throat and a tear threatens to fall. What a beautiful piece.
Of all the splendid imagery that runs through this poem
‘I loved a girl who
reminded me of starlight
run through with electricity’
is truly electrifying
I’m glad to know you to! And I agree with everything you shared. Loyalty is very important to me. Not blind loyalty, but the loyalty that sees one through thick and thin. Support and care. I also firmly believe in treating people the way you want to be treated but without throwing pearls before swine. Which is sometimes how I practice, unfortunately, but I try not to waste my energy too much when I catch myself doing it. It’s probably rooted in that constant need to be accepted and loved. You are a precious friend to me and I cherish you. 💕
What would I do without you? I fear since leaving WP mostly (because of their ban on my adding any other followers on WP) I went off-site and feed back in and get hardly any readers, so seeing that you visit here, well it cheers me greatly. I was thinking about loyalty and about what you can expect from others as you should not expect much but one thing I think you can expect is loyalty and kindness, the tenderness of friendship or connection. I cherish that with you. I don’t have that even with people I have worked with and I may speak to them weekly and work together for years, but they wouldn’t check on me or enquire or really … care and I think that’s the sustaining force of life. Of anything with purpose. Maybe not everyone has it in them, or simply doesn’t want to and that’s okay too but it begs the question, if not that, then why have any type of connection? Maybe only the ones that are sustained by care and loyalty are the ones worth holding onto, because otherwise it seems pointless when you’re just pouring goodness into a void. The only way that might work is if you were earning a LOT of money to make the apathy not sting. Anyway .. just my thoughts today and you are much appreciated for knowing what it means to be a really decent good human being. I am so glad I know you.
well you know me and dares 😉 I think maybe all of us have had a little snippet of this, at some point, it is of course, about how far you have gone down that path ….
As I texted last night I am immensely grateful for you reading anything I write and for your consideration of what I write, and your friendship and caring. You are one of those stars I seek in the night sky to guide me forward.
Yes, little snippets, big chunks – and, also yes, I do know you and dares. 🙂
We’re alike in that way. Like you I want to be accepted. Most people do I guess? But like you I also don’t want to pour into a person who does nothing. You’re right about blind loyalty. And healthy loyalty. Basically like you said treat others as you’d wish to be treated. I bet it’s beautiful there right now. Photos if you have any!
I was just taking some pics and was going to send em! 💕