777bbca7e13ef8f0b821cfb0c2ee3e63Press tighter
the ribbon too loose
the welt too shallow
press tighter
block out light
kneeling in our find
discovering strange arms
do not right the wrong
of absence
you lace your shoes all the way to the top hook
standing by the gutter watching imagination speed past
grab a cab, take a train, hail a bus
erase the deep scratch
take yourself as far as you are
find me
find me in cinder
I’m sweeping up my make-believe
ashes mark the brand with loving hand
I left myself on a train somewhere
heading past the blur
trees convening into walls and thorns
shaping my need
pricked back to defeat
raise your hands in prayer
watch them fall leaden
like pennies who deny wish to the carp who
listless grows fat on his doom
once you reach the bridge’s middle you will know
the circumference of your blank page
I am here split into footsteps
wet with their hasten
I am here giving birth to your disregard
bloodied in veined marble
it was always the fault of mine own flaw
I don’t have a skin like you do
this girl rends in spinning glass
pretending she is well enough
for this loud world
we who bruise on emotion
catch the lasting arrow
so fine they go, the ones who can
shine themselves well
boarding future with jagged step
watch them marvel at themselves
for six weeks and six years and six centuries
I buried feeling in soft velvet boxes
whispering to the fox
we who are timid
cannot stand the jolt
we who are fractured
do not wear pain for long
before relinquishing fight
deep in the rosebud
where the fold has yet to
come undone
they told her she was wasting her time
trying to be normal
give it up
you speak in imperfect step
from passive to shout and back again
you do not understand your tense or your verb
you were rejected by the snotty folk
who pinch their noses as they bustle past
in formula
and alacrity
bet you know all your grammatical rules like
a foreign language whilst
I paint in saline and muzzled howl
save this last lesson
when you shout
ensure the fields are on fire
and the birds indigo sky in their fright
you will never know what it is like to be
savaged in kind
is that the sound of my neck breaking?
over the ache?
reaching one last time
growing old in perpetuity like
light staying too long in the same place
turns listless and if you listen carefully
with young ears you can
hear the rustle of her gown
bitter with the after glow of grind
I know I’m wasting everything
except this last buried purse
of everything
if I let go now
the seeds will spill
out of me
and grow taller
than I ever
even on tiptoe
could be