You always said I was so beautiful
in your arms I let myself believe
in many things
now I do not have those assurances
it’s like being born again and starting over
i want to tell you, because I think you’d understand
whom else would I ever share this with?
how difficult it is for your girl
to no longer be that person
I have to grow up, grow beyond you
I’ve been living in your rule book and my own intoxication
maybe it’s like a recovering alcoholic
we took our share of hard knocks
I’m going out on my own and it scares me
I hear your voice in my head saying I can do it
find myself believing I can
on the far side of pain and loss, meeting myself again
leaving the sick room and its soft slow death
closing the door on you when you passed from me
there was only the outline left in cooling sheets
someone unrecognizable in your place
an effigy, an imitation with nothing of your gentle ways
I want to tell you I found someone
a girl who leaves me breathless, with eyes like french glass
but there’s things we can’t speak of
for some wounds, carry their own salt
we were the best of friends by the end
still, neither of us needs to know
when a lover replaces the ghost
I still feel so alone since you died
thinking I can hear your answers
on the breath of each nighttime wind
maybe I imagined you all this time
slowly forgetting what it felt like to be whole
and silence has always been my music
now I lay you down here, in the quiet dark earth
to rest, become a memory without strength
for we who continue to live must
shed the weight of sorrow
rising beyond what we thought possible
run forward when we are beckoned
until we can
run no longer
12 Replies to “When a lover replaces the ghost”
This was truly beautiful!
This is one of the most beautiful poems I’ve ever read. I love the raw (all too real) ending. I love your style too. You don’t overdo the metaphor or simile usage. It’s just perfect.
Coming from you Nitin that’s … everything.
Absolutely gorgeous. You always sketch those emotions so vividly.
So damn good. ❤
Beautifully poignant so many emotions on display!
A beautifully expressed tribute
‘I have to grow up, grow beyond you’ – needed this Candy ❤ you’re wonderful x
Mind blowing. That is all.
Straight from the heart, unashamed love, just pure magic, Candice.
Touchingly beautiful, Candice. 💗
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