c51e6bc5e98678539d061ac9c04667afNot afraid of the usual fears
indifference of lovers
I bought a pair of scissors
snipped out the dead bits
threw away the glamor and beguilement
seeing through gossamer trappings
yet I am still fearful
of uncommon things
dissolution and repetitive days
adding up to waste
working in a cubicle
coming home to warmed up left-overs
hanging washing on weekends
mowing lawns iced with Ready Grow
chores belaboring chores
like sore throated choir singers
duck behind pulpit for a shot of whiskey
I do not fear wrinkles earned
or sagging parts hidden beneath thick coats
those were with me before they were
lines on my days as I sat
20 years crossed legged
eating chocolate from vending machines
watching others my age hurl themselves
from one moment to the next
like waves that meet and
turn ever wilder
I preferred to roll my own
invite the boy who couldn’t form
complete sentences
but wrote
pretentious appealing poetry
with tight muscled drummers arms
back to my whistling dorm
to break the wood we were born upon
and his idea
he was in control
back then
carrying in my linen womb
the next twenty years
I developed an inkling for scars
battle worn and tired before
my knitting bones caught up
now you can’t scare me with your rebuke
I’ve lived beyond the yoke and tenderness of youth
but put me in an office, tighten my straps
affix the gag reflex
and watch me come undone
like a latch that appears well adhered
will spring suddenly
contents spill out aborted
across washed floor