16508678_1199541153428000_43660874740017778_nWhen you left I thought
you took the best of me with you
but the best of me
had long ago divested of your infernal penchant
to pull those you love apart
limb by limb
 
she
who used to be me
had jumped over the moon wearing rubber boots and a waterproof coat
she
who used to be me
had chopped her hair off and grown her hands long to climb up stairwells leading to stars
she
who used to be me
had regained her need to be respected and her love of dancing
in the arms of those
who unlike you
held her up and didn’t
make a career of pulling her down
 
you didn’t notice I was gone
my absence preordained by inaction
you’re a metal heart with no tab and a flat fizz
I used to be the first one out there
painting my eyes bright with scorch of life
now I’m the one you walk past
as you rush toward the crowd for succor
I find I have no want to be part of the cacophony
I want to exist outside your hunger for acclaim
in a place where recognition has no pew
maybe I should want to join in
but I was never one for cliques or even
prescriptive
we may live longer socializing
but who said I wanted to celebrate
my 100th birthday?
I was born to be still and listen to the wind
you always needed an audience
I hope you found someone to listen
to the hollow rattle of your dice
lending nothing to internal privation
we cannot manifest loving histories
or buy ourselves fans, we are the manifest
of our sum, we must live according to our truth
not the pulsation of greed and arrogance