I told a compassionate jurist once, the recipe for understanding the anxious at heart:
the most disturbing clamor, is that of positivities drum
it beats loudly outside their chamber
be grateful for life it proclaims
illuminating sub-text running a ticker tape parade
if you are not grateful you are a bad person
for we know, the anxious will always examine
the inverse and underside
as they themselves are examined and categorized
if you say well at least be glad you are not dead
they will consider all those who seek life
so desperately and why they
who remain unsure at water’s edge
do not perish instead
(take my place! take my place!) (what crimes exist within our fates!)
if you say well, it could be much worse
they will consider all the terrible things that can occur
and condemn themselves for any pain
it is the nature of the anxious mind to examine
things in detail
so when they’re told to be happy
go to the gym every day and wash your hair
eat right, socialize even when you feel quiet
through positive action you can get a handle on what ails you
the inverse message reads
and if you still feel sad or anxious afterward you are to blame
it is that sub-text that haunts the most
cure is the curse is the cure is the curse
maybe if it were not seen as elective
subj-text: I choose to feel this way
torn into pieces flayed by wolves
a part of me wants to live like this
how absurd
would we say that of someone with cancer?
you know you want this disease! You brought it on yourself!
ironically depressed and anxious souls make
good bed fellows
when they say misery loves company it is a judgement
wedged between passive and aggressive
you choose to intensify your downfall is the implication
but in truth
those who will reach for you in the darkness and say
come take my hand I will walk with you and light the way
are many times those least equipped to do it
often it will not be those who think themselves compassionate
they will stand on the fringe and shout
recommendations for healing from a distance
as if the leper who cannot be touched
must stand apart and die in a new brand of isolation
the divisions of the haves and have-nots
contributions to misery
like tossing a penny in a well and making a wish
is not as good as causing that wish to come true
by actions
not scolds
not rebukes