Regret is an empty pill box in the attic of your mind
A scarred rocking horse inlaid with memory
the shoes you never wore, still in their crisp red paper
when it rains, birds who never knew us, fill trees with their squabble
you took my love away with yours, you filleted feeling and trod down heavy
you made me old, you made me bitter, when you turn to ice, the moon bequeaths new language
it is said nobody can make you feel bad unless you give them permission
I poured my permissions into you, year after year, cogitation a hot rinse
until love became a sore that never scabbed or dried
scarred shiny skin without substance, easy to break, lending notions of wholeness
if you turned me sideways, I curled translucent, poorly repaired
the bloodline of transient making, ashen fallacy
taught from an early age to pursue the escapee of my heart
I chased you until my feet bled and I learned how to do without
in prayer, I knelt on scabbed knees and begged
conscience to strangle your deceitful arc
make a promise and keep it, save us
from the despised wrung out dawn
when we realize, nothing as sodden
and cold as us, will ever, ever dry in storms.
The destructive power is overwhelming. Heart lost its safe place.
A prayer to a god gone unanswered
by that being invisible and perhaps imaginary
may be sad, and yet hope may spring
eternal
how different and how alike when
the prayer is to a mortal uninterested
when even just a crumb of love
love not unrequited would be
answer enough
to a hope that refuses to die
Allowing someone, to pull on the, strings of your emotions, you are, manipulated by the person, and you don’t even, know it, because you’re, trapped by the, “love”…
True story
Such awful resignation