tumblr_mfrhau9jIq1s0qvy5o1_500I’m afraid again
A queer feeling
As we trace our gloves on dusty balcony
You forget you’ve told me the story before
And repeat yourself
I watch
Feeling I am a mind reader
Mouthing well-known words
But for the ball in my mouth
I want to ask
Do you think it will bounce?
If you lay me down as your eyes say they want
If you have me now
Under this awning in the frigid cold
You’ll spoil my dress and your coat
And feel later it was not worth
The dry cleaning bill
You’re a man who suits the world of before
And doesn’t know his lines after
If you could squeeze until I choked
Without consequence
You would unflinching
I see this as I see stain in drafted light
As I feel you spear me like tendered filet mignon
Right through the middle
Your eyes roll like cut glass within red flesh
The devil peers out at the culmination
Spent and angry you hurry me to pull myself back on
Leading me by the funny bone in my plastic arm
Charge through the crowd to view the art show
Impatient though you caused our double crease
Like a thief without fingers weeps for what he has not pinched
Standing by the first mounted painting you pause
With the skin of you and the drink of me
Drying irresolutely
Then I see it
So fast, a flash and burn FURY
Hot house light splintering in storm
I know
For all the love, all the cabinets of delusion
It’s a farce I lay myself before, opening my mouth
Birthing cavities for empty souls
Adoring walking pain, stilettos of disregard
Stabbing with familiar falling shards
Self-harm wrought by masochistic ardor
To break my puzzle
Like coming home
A known bewitchment
Tearing apart sound

0 Replies to “Masochism”

  1. This was a real painful one some here is my experience with pain–
    Its a feeling that hurts but
    I still love to feel it
    Its phase thats hard but
    I don’t wanna forget it
    Its pain that make life worth living
    Its pain that make us respect it.

  2. This is profound and violently poetic. As always, I come into your company to bleed as I read….and never count the cost of the pain. You are magnificent, My Beauty. This is so very real. 💙

          1. I do. One. A big-un 😉 You don’t have any? Oh you should drink a glass of wine and you would not be afraid. It doesn’t hurt much. Tickles.

          2. Don’t worry…I don’t mind you having one. I just don’t want any guys hitting on you. or trying to play his game.
            Sorry, I get defensive. I was like this with my sister when I was little. I would try and protect her…even though, a lot of the guys back then would whistle at her. And I, would give them the middle finger. hahahaha!!! True story.
            That’s why I would feel protective of you. 🙂 See, that’s how much I love you sister. 🙂 <3

  3. With the focus on mental health this month, you have, in such a younique way, added to the conversation.
    Thank you for sharing your gifts and often times speaking for those who do not!

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