Last night, The Devil called
He said
I’m calling in my marker
You have the wrong stiff, I replied
I’ve been scared stiff too long
I calcified
Turned into crystal
Split apart under armadillo sun
Melted and became a resin lingua, beneath surface, hearing murmur
Of half forgotten plea 
Smoke me if you must
You’ve got the flame
Though displeased not to gain my soul, ponder this …
What you cannot snap in two
What resists
Will one day be called beautiful
And all that pain it took
Just to keep walking
When the sun burned you to clay and turned you finally to river mud
When the last ounce of yes I can
Si su puede
Became Holy Lord I cannot endure
When you felt yourself
Wilt like wax candle of the saints, in midday sun
From alive, to oil, to fire and back again to blood
When Demi-Devil’s mock human weakness
Whispering in your shellac ear
“Try your hand at Lady luck”
You know
As sure as the pain
Will come and sear that moment, right from you
A ripper of joy
Wielding guts by the garter
That no ideal lasts as long as your breath
Captured in entreaty
Oh Great Ones
Who stand, past and present
And know what we, of salinated water, shall never know
Lift us up from our pain
The fear gnashing blind over tattoo soul
Lift us up high enough, to see beyond the mountain of defeat
And like children from their deep sleep, we feel renewal
Fingers of comfort, rounding in caress
You see, evil has no hold, over courage
And still it is okay to say
I am scared, I am weak
When in our transformation we will become
Light
Extinguishing a little of the fear gripping the recess of survival
Refusing to drown 
Say it once
Say it every time
I am still
And the wind blows cool
On my wet face
I feel you near
I know I am not alone
I open the window and whisper
You can still
Hear

0 Replies to “Last night”

  1. “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.” (Nietzsche)

  2. Candice, this is a poem of such amazing courage – I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve endured, what you’re still enduring. You continue to be in my thoughts….only wishing to be able to help in some way. Love to you ❤️❤️

  3. I always look for your presence in my Reader. Today I was rewarded with this. So good to see you appear. I bow in honour and respect to your resilience, courage, guts, fighting spirit. Much love my Fine Feathered Friend, R xxx

  4. You spit in that devil’s face again and again. You ae a child of the most high God and He as overcome the world. He is the light and the light shines on you and over you for prayers have been and are still being lifted up!!! The Lord NEVER lets go of His children. we may forsake Him but He will not let go of flesh of His flesh, bone of His bone, and the soul that is ours alone to sell out to the highest bidder should we choose to do so. You are a fighter; I’ve known that for a long time and it’s one of the things I love about you! Do not let what comes against you define you or take from you that which was gifted you by the Lord through the trials you have endured. Call on the name of Jesus, the Lord of all, and bind the evil one in His name. As dire as this is, it is brilliant and I see glimmers of hope and that indomitable spirit of yours still in the game and the fight. I love you, I adore you, I am here and I’m praying!!! 🙂 <3

  5. I just looked up the illness you tagged, and it sounds so uncomfortable! Huge {{hug}} to you, if you are the one suffering, and positive vibes to speed you toward recovery. Nice to read your work again.

  6. I was blown away with the following lines:
    “You see, evil has no hold, over courage
    And still it is okay to say
    I am scared, I am weak
    When in our transformation we will become
    Light”

  7. Reblogged this on Ben Naga and commented:
    “How will I say where I end
    Or where you begin” – Robin Williamson.
    [youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPnZ5PHv2Ic&w=640&h=390]

  8. I am not certain of the exact phrasing or poem, but to me… this reads a bit like the great and overpowering Sylvia Plath. Our physical mishaps can break us, you’re not allowing yours to do so. That’s strength that is indescribable:
    “You see, evil has no hold, over courage
    And still it is okay to say
    I am scared, I am weak
    When in our transformation we will become
    Light”

  9. Pouring out my deepest fears, pains and desires in my writing is definitely therapeutic. I pray that writing does the same for you. Somehow, although we’ve never spoke or met, the intensity felt from your writing introduces your soul to mine. Peace to you and thank you for sharing❤!

  10. Only a true poet, and courageous soul could convey such honesty & strength out of something so horrendous that feels like death. You are so much stronger than you know, and you help give me strength as well my friend .<3

  11. “Split apart under armadillo sun
    Melted and became a resin lingua, beneath surface, hearing murmur
    Of half forgotten plea
    Smoke me if you must
    You’ve got the flame”
    Those lines hit me pretty hard and I do not know why. Hope you are doing ok, it is been a while since we talked.

  12. Tonight I was blessed with your visit, and radiant smiles were given birth and my heart embraced your words in return. You are such a kindred spirit, as I see the same love, and grace which fertilizes my life each day to share, and praise Him, not asking for anything in return…because with Him we have all we need…now and in the life to come! Love your poetry my sister! God bless!

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