f64c917f731235b5604b2779ecb5e01bMy hand
resting a top yours
the same size in our shadow
you with little feet and longer ties
inheriting portions
I see in your eyes
the easement of life
as if you are in slow motion
falling gently behind yourself
going back in time
I think of the local cinema
being old enough to see over the railing
a film about a man plugged to a machine
all his memories flickering in retreat
until he is a fetus a heartbeat a blip
so far back he does not exist
is that you?
dissolving, reducing
I watch bread rise and moon’s sink
wonder at the circular motion of things
how I slept with a light on
now you remind me
not to close the door
my chest aches for what I long to give but cannot
it is as if you were born of me
my longing to love
I cannot make sense of why
but you were always the only one
my arms reach at night for your surround
I hear your voice on hungry chime of wind
all the pain blooms around me
like cancan girls frothing their scarlet hems
I remember bougainvillea climbing up the walls
can see you with your hair slicked back from the bath
steam rising in dark breeze
you made a circle of me and wore me around your neck
where I lay far too still listening to your heart beat
now we are divided by wire and thread
two half-made mannequins
no matter how far I stretch
I cannot reach your gaze
it stared listless at angry waves
as they build and recede
in the abyss of your memories

0 Replies to “Full”

  1. I love this Shieldmaiden….and I have to ask…was the movie Flash Gordon…the scene when they were erasing Hans Zarkovs memory?
    You are wonderful. 💙

    1. My talented art friend who always gives me images to muse over, you can talk! There are different forms of creativity I think and you are up there with the rest of us, you inspire me with your subjects and considerations and I am grateful to you – thank you so much my friend

        1. Okay I’m checking now. I do the same as you do, some days on fire, others I’m exhausted. Such is the artists lament my friend, do not concern yourself you are already there, it’s just hard to maintain and few do, but in the end we get there and stay there, just fitfully such is our weave. xo

  2. Candice Luisa,
    — this was so sad . . .
    — to business: you wrote: “where I lay far too still listening to your heart beat, now we are divided by wire and thread
    two half-made manikin’s …”
    The “wire and thread” could apply differently for:
    1) manikins – plural – no apostrophe = dwarfs
    2) mannikins with two Ns – plural – no apostrophe = little finches
    3) mannequins – plural – preferred spelling = human forms
    Not b*tching or moaning. You just bring out the English teacher in me. <3
    — "Full" really expresses the fragility of the relationship with 'circle of me …around your neck."
    — makes me want to say "Dump that selfish b^$tard."
    Your fan,

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