I never think of you
which isn’t entirely true
you cross my mind, a chill shadow
footsteps on a grave, portending
infrequent and unwanted
opened orange pain, bleeding falsehoods
hungering for a fool to believe
the lies you’d already convinced yourself of
sometimes the fleshless straight jaw
of a loud character actress reminds me
of your insistence, how you could
carve wild fables on tree bark
and declare yourself a feifdom.
What you don’t know
little narcissist
is I thought of others
and all the time you assumed, believed, wrongly convinced I thought of you?
I wasn’t.
I thought of her, the one who wasn’t delusion in fancy dress
the deftness of her precision and craft
how her intelligence is like a knife at times, carving words
she is whole even as she is in pieces
her alacrity, poise in every motion made
I have a thing for smart people, brainiacs, especially ones with ink on their fingers
humility and honesty shot through with kindness
rare like black squirrels and scotch honey
all those things you pretended to be
researching how to infiltrate and disrespect
privacy and a person’s right to say no
choose someone sincere over the false play
of your blustering grift.
You knew none of this
certain you knew all, could summon
from sheer bloody-minded-ness
obedience and acquiescence
but you earn respect, you don’t frighten it out
with bloated lies and sharp threats
grandiose in ways that terrorize
the sane
blackmail a game for paupers without integrity
that which you never owned
you were just a stalker
who thought it was all about you
when I never even considered you
a footnote.
Okay! Whoa! Come on now, this is everything!
“you were just a stalker
who thought it was all about you
when I never even considered you
a footnote.”
This is exceptional, Candice, from start to finish.
wonderful writing! Well done! xo
Next to being spared knowing one (alas, a gift more rare than hen’s teeth in the world today), the best way to deal with a narcissist, and powerfully put. Oscar Wilde would approve such revenge.
Wow especially loved the lines about being whole even when in pieces.. masterful.
A powerfully insightful poem
Thank you very much. You probably recall a few years ago this really happened and it took me a long time to write on it because truthfully I was afraid of push-back. Then I realized if you know you did nothing wrong you cannot live in fear, you must live fully including sharing experiences – if nothing else so others do not have to experience them and whatever we learn from those experiences can be shared to warn others. It is remarkable how many young women seem to experience this from both genders and also how many men do. I think the online world and total lack of privacy makes it pretty easy for people you do not know to turn up at your house unbidden. The UK has better privacy laws on those things.
I adore that you mentioned hens teeth – always thought that was brilliant
It is one we don’t hear much lately – so glad you like it.
I’m a sucker for old sayings and oblique sayings and those you just think HOW THE HECK? I think our vernacular is getting quite boring with all the ‘yeah’ and LOL out there. Bring back Hen’s Teeth!
Thank you so much dear Dark Night xo
I am still trying to pick myself up from my swoon 😉
💙🖤💜
YES! Now, you’ve got me thinking whether there are more neglected sayings in need of revival.
There really are. My second book is an old English northern saying – nobody remembers the saying but I liked it!
That would be: “The bright day has gone child an you are in for the dark.” I like that being a saying.
I actually read it in an English novel (Northern) and was like YES THIS IS IT
I’m picturing that moment. 🙂