I didn’t care as much as the blood on the snow implied

it was after all just a horror show

you, with your nimble ways of

poking holes in my armor

you, with your kind smile and sharp knife

twisting screw

letting good drain out with bad

till meaning held no color.

I didn’t blame you at first

it’s a fact … some bite

they are taught to by pain

it’s a refuge, a coping mechanism, a

twist and writhe in slim net

of sanity and pathology

that’s all they know

the feral in their fur

if you try to be kind

they will purr

then go ahead and bite you.

I took my bleeding hand

stuck it in my mouth

to prevent saying the things I wanted to

Then I remembered all the little ways

you’d been before, the bare indifference

how I’d tried. Why had I kept on trying?

What possesses us to be kind

to broken things whose disapointment

in themselves turns to savagery?

At least it gave you an opportunity

to use that tenderness against me

I did feel a fool until I realized, yeah …

maybe you were my enemy all along

in that slow icing way you left me feeling emptied

which may say something about me

and how I should learn to try less

I’m sure you’d say; “nobody else can make you feel bad

without giving your permission.”

But I think I will disagree

that’s a passive-aggressive crock … Psych101

it’s your fault … no one else’s

with your holier-than-thou certainty

convinced you’re above us all

I walked away from the snow and the blood

a little cross at myself for not remembering

you can’t hand feed

wild cats.

15 Replies to “Felis catus”

  1. You’ve ended this superbly and the imagery is worth every second of this read.

    “you can’t hand feed

    wild cats.”

    I’m so glad you’re writing regularly again.

    1. Thank you so much Tre. I was on the cusp of giving up for the reasons we both know, and I decided why be what they’d expect me to be? Meaning those who would say I’m not good enough. I suppose I will never think I am (good enough) but if we don’t try in life, we really don’t exist. I have always tried. I appreciate your support more than words can convey.

  2. It is often quoted; “The best defense is a good offense.” [George Washington] It may be true most in actual war. For those who live in the Hobbesian State Of Nature, a war of all against all, it is fundamental. Though they can pretend otherwise.

    1. Well goodness that’s an apropos quote if ever there was one! I do agree in that truth must come first. Never really a need to be cruel. I just don’t see where it needs to exist. There is a middle ground. And there is mercy. And there is kindness. Even if that makes me a little boring, I’d rather be that than cruel.

      1. You are not boring, and kindness and mercy are not either. Cruelty may be exciting to many, but I do think those better things are more interesting.

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