We stood in the early morning silence, two warm silhouettes
waiting is the hardest when goodbye comes afterward
my bag a leaden brick in my throat
I thought of all the times you let me down
trying to reject the pain with supplanted anger
I could only miss you more before I was gone
the sting taught me the truth of us
these ties binding us over time and water
they never did listen to reason or sense
age, advice or security
we collapsed at the same time, head first into a river
carried along unable to climb out and dry off
why is it so easy to shrug some people?
forget and move away propelled by current
and others
command the underwater tow
they cling even as we fight without knowing why
wrapping around us in familiarity
sooner felt than can be sensible
more than familiar, you and I
beginning before consciousness
forming pre-determining chain links
recollecting pathways as you would
your own nature
did you create me out of your mind?
am I your child? your chimera?
at times it seems I do not exist until you
open your eyes and bid me morning
you, safron firebird in sky whilst I
hold up my crooked elbows and inspect
where you join and where I end
unable to fathom epileptic from phenomena
some of us are born with internal scripts
already printed and stored in clay
some of us are born with destinies tattooed in
the crook of our arm
a map of sorts
to each other
whichever way we take
make sure it is the way toward prophecy
where in hypnagogic trance our memories
form prior to birth
is it real? is it illusion? A play on words?
all is subjective painted into our make
with fine horse hair brush
our hearts are not master
the brain distributes sensation with
seeming spontaneity but all is drawn before
held in the minds of gods planting forests
they chose us to find the other
before we knew to seek
coming from inside out
who existed first? you or me?
without you I simply ache and ever longing reach
you are my pulse
threading rhythmically beneath
recognizing two who are one
reconstructing fate
whatever happens
however far we are led in wrong directions
as stars lick magnetically
we always return
no matter consequence
to be apart, always worse
than anything humans can create
we began when the universe
exploding in one enormous sigh
split itself into infinitum
gauging space and time where
before only emptiness knew
to be alone
that is what it feels like to
go one day, one hour, without
your arm to reach for and remind myself
the luster of your fur
soft and thick beneath the world
carpets me safe
so long as you stay close
within a single
heartbeat