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Let me tell you a story …
once there was an ugly girl, by ugly I mean her soul was desolate of compassion
nobody could see her true make, because she kept her cheeks brightly daubed with grease paint
every so often she’d be provoked and the alabaster devil would crawl out
betraying her neutered joins beneath camouflage
she asked me
BITCH why are you so fucking NICE?
venom dripping from her opaque maw
she could hardly contain her tiny fanged roll of hatred
as if by being merciful I disobeyed natural laws
her hellish countenance, displeasured turn of rule
she was without color, an albino sheltering behind false eye-balls
gathering fruits of her murder, dragging the axe behind
wishing so much to rise it over head and crack my tinted neck
why for some … it is a sport to undo others?
Rorschach of destruction splattered on pavements
I shall never know
she wanted my extinction
eradicate a girl who is not like her
crying; who does she think she is?
challenging the natural order of our dirt filled minds
bent on collapsing compassion
 
why are we suspicious of those who are tender?
as if they must all contain a poisoned dart or
some ulterior motive
it is not so very strange to be considerate
 
she was the butcher’s knife in plain sight
questioning my integrity implying I had some
hidden destination
everyone would rather believe kindness an invention
cruelty the status quo
they joined in their discrimination
sending me out in the wilderness
where I watched them eat each other
the way glinting crows starved of fresh meat
will turn sharp on their neighbor
and I
have been wild ever since

0 Replies to “Cynthia”

  1. True story because there are evil people in the world who gain pleasure from others pain. They will send nice people ” out in the wilderness” and laugh at how slim their chances of survival will be. It is often the weakest among us who are singled out for the most abuse.

    1. Yes very true. The number of times I have heard that said of people or to people ‘why are you so NICE?’ like it’s the biggest insult. I confess I feel like screaming it’s just the underbelly of a dark heart. You are SO right.

      1. I don’t even know if we need a name but I tell you what…fuck all those losers who spit on kindness because they don’t understand it, because they don’t have it and are suspicious of it…fuck them all and I have reached the age that I’m now ready to pour petrol all over them and set them on fire.
        Right, that said…we actually do need a name…let me think on it πŸ˜‰

  2. And yet they are the very souls who yearn to be loved and nurtured yet know not how to accept it without lashing out for they often have learnt that ‘love’ hurts

    1. Maybe. I used to think so. Maybe once upon a time? Or maybe they were born bad? Or if not, they soon joined that club. It is hard to be merciful, I know I should, but it is hard when someone is THAT unkind, but you’re right I know, the bigger person sees their pain and is compassionate, I’m not that big I wanted to bury her alive, but maybe in time I will learn to unclench my fists πŸ˜‰ (thank you for reminding me my lovely one, you always do and it is a good thing because I often stray).

  3. It is a heart breaking reality that people are suspicious of kindness. Ugh, it is frustrating! From all I can gather, a lot of those people live their lives in fear, and are truly slaves to paranoia. It is devastating for everyone. I always love your honesty, your eloquent honesty!

  4. Tis why I do my best to ignore the fangs and daggers of mean-spirited people! Every day is a gift and I simply won’t give it up for such as they. It’s my life, my time, and my dime! So bye is all they’ll get from me nowadays. πŸ™‚ <3

    1. Yes exactly – we’ve talked briefly of this before, I recall you telling me about a man you worked with – I still do not understand I suppose I seek to but the maddening thing is sometimes they do not even know!

      1. Their obtuseness is why you can’t get through. If they themselves are not important to you it’s not worth the hassle. The problems really arise when they mean something to you. XX

        1. Very true. I think many times people pick out someone that triggers them and they attack them without due cause and the devestation of that is incredible. We should all be more merciful and kind, that is truly the answer to everything

  5. Oh I love the way you’ve expressed this – the “curse” of being kind and merciful in a world where such a culture of harshness and cruelty exists. It is as though goodness is a foreign language, and those who don’t speak it want to force us to replace our language with their own. πŸ™

    1. Beautiful girl so good to see you here, I hope you are doing well. I thought of you when I wrote ‘make me’ actually because I see you as a warrior soul – but this one, this is the lack of appreciation yeah totally I think you’re so right people can see goodness as a foreign language. Well said my talented friend

  6. This resonates so strongly for me. Like I am somehow flawed or fake for being kind and compassionate. I don’t really think that I am a “nice” person but I am empathetic and there are always those who will torture you for recognizing their vulnerability.

      1. I truly believe it is about them, not us. That they cannot tolerate someone whose eyes see through where it hurts. The witness must be discredited, annihilated for their “protection.”

          1. It is unnerving. I honestly do not expect everyone who meets me to like me but I am always surprised when someone who barely knows me vents such hostility.I feel like only the people who have to live with me have that right!

          2. I think I’m beginning to feel that way (assuming people who meet me may not like me) it is a surprise when someone is hostile though, it happens a lot for ABSURD reasons. Totally agree!

    1. Christine, you are like a touch stone in a river when I was drowning you found me. Your presence in my life has meant so much to me, you inspire me daily with your prodigious output and talent and you are such a champion for the rest of us I hope you always know that and how much we all appreciate YOU in ways words are incapable of expressing.

      1. Okay, that made me teary and I feel truly unworthy of such praise. I am just me. I feel like all I do is care and run around being ridiculously, counter-culturally honest. It is my honor to cross your path and get to experience some of your light.

        1. We are all ‘just me’ and you are just you and very much you, unapologetically, which I admire, as many are so faux-themselves. I know praise settles strangely but it’s not really praise if it’s just truth is it? So just you, just me, just truth.

  7. So stark and hard and passionate. So bloody describing a bloodless soul. Gorgeously done and truely original

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