thAu moment de démêler mes cheveux
the day you cut yourself
you have to hurt
lose
some trace of past
much beloved
forming solace
the retreat within
only then, not even then
take one shuffled step forward
you are not yourself anymore
you are the one you became
when they ate your heart
licked the plate clean
no need to wash
 
it’s not true
you stay the same afterward
you do not
you are extinguished
half reborn
each time or only once
harder
a shell of former self
patting scars down
like fur
refusing to smooth
 
when I laid my head
on your lap
my hair spilled across your knees
down to the floor
just as my tears now
will fill me with the strength
to cut out the part of me
holding you
it is nearly all of my sum
 
so necessarily
I will start as nothing
build slowly into an approximation
something will be sacrificed
something will be lost
never to return
it is the part of me that could trust
it is the rope of my devourment
 
I will be shorn
of the muscles of my heart
for you took everything
leaving only
a pair of scissors
glinting on tabletop
if I stretch out
I can reach
their
steel

0 Replies to “Coupe”

  1. Powerful and a sad but beautiful imagery. Again, I am thankful for the space between your lines which allow me to pause and catch my breath. As a person who is chased by depression, I totally understand and relate to this writing. Which is both good and sad at the same time. I describe my depression as those beautiful black horses in the Hobbit movies. With riders with no face. Beautiful horses and riders who never stop. My goal is to outrun them. They know and I know it is just a matter of time. If I can’t outrun them, I try to hide. I can hear them as they gallop by and then know it is ok to take another breath. Thank you so much for sharing your gifts which touch the deepest parts of my heart.

    1. What an incredible way of describing the feeling of depression. Wow. I hope you will try to write something yourself akin to this, it really shows the beauty of the description outshining the sadness. xo

    1. Em I would say the very same of your work I really love it as you know I read the one today where you talked about isolation and I felt as if I had written it. xo BIG HUG TO YOU because as long as you touch people like that with your work you are never really alone.

      1. … But most of my stuff isn’t so much beautiful poetry like yours, as just speaking matter-of-fact-ly with some semblance of rhythmic prose… I find I need practice in speaking my poems – that’s a tough one.
        I guess I thrive on my quiet time…sharing thoughts & expressions, coming clean…

  2. Those who self harm often describe the action as a relief and a release rather than a pain – although at one level I can understand that, on another the concept is so foreign to me having never plunged into that particular well myself.Have I felt deep emotional pain ? yes indeed… I just deal with it in a different way.

  3. Sometimes sorrow makes for the best work. It also expresses life in a realistic way. As life is not always roses it can be painful. I would say you write it with perfection and true passion. Thanks for sharing

  4. Reading this makes me want to hug someone and be hugged, while at the same time reminding us to have the strength to rise up on our own. If that makes any sense?

  5. when I laid my head
    on your lap
    my hair spilled across your knees
    down to the floor
    just as my tears now
    will fill me with the strength
    to cut out the part of me
    holding you
    it is nearly all of my sum
    …So incredible…those lines! <3

    1. Honestly I think if I can write anything it’s heartbreak and sorrow. Dunno what that makes me but it makes me able to write that out, though try to write something uplifting and happy … I may be stymied for life!

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