I am an addict
an addict who
never takes too much
nevertheless I am addicted
in ways that are unproven or run
thin white scars shiny and tight
like crossed legs try not to uncross
I am addicted to you
I am addicted to the feeling
of being high
it’s easy when you feel like you’re dying
to reach for a bottle, a pipe, a rolled paper, anything
to take away the crime
of hurting without cause
or so it appears
to the callous world who say
get a grip for fucks sake
you are pathetic
oh yes you feel you are
lying beneath them after swallowing too much
of their blow back
see, we’re two different species
the addict and the non addicted
the latter wake up and see
they are not nailed to a cross
their fingers are not blistered and torn
rent by iron and blood
stretching in the morning sun
going for a jog
balance over balance over balance
supple minds malleable bodies
for the addict who plunges
into abyss there is nothing powerful enough to resist
take a pin stab yourself
if it helps do it again
take a person cut your neck
if it helps do it again
take a lover, slice them in two
keep the half that won’t leave you
the addict only knows how to chase
the feeling of relief
blinded by the agony
of seeing
themselves without skin