When I was bulimic
I could not hold down words
when I was an alcoholic
I drank standing by the stainless steel sink
pretending it was cough syrup
when I was an addict
blue pills became my muse
when I was a smoker
I pulled blue smoke into my lungs
spoke in hacking tongues
when I was starving
I pressed against you until struck back
vanquishing my urge with your violence
bending dominion, sating hunger
a lion taking his share, leaving bones
to gnaw through wrong moments
when I was empty I found nowhere to fill myself
though I tried sex, drugs and other recreation
drizzling against fastened door in outline of shame
when I was used
I let myself become a purse with an open mouth
when I was alive I did not feel alive
when I was dying I knew
how much time I had wasted
thinking of when
rather than why
and with whom
Beautiful!
Thank you so much for your appreciation!
Nicely put, I looked up bulimic it’s a new word I learnt π thank you. Also, if the above is your story I hope now that you know, you will know what and how to pass your moments. Keep smiling and spreading positivity. Love, Durga
Than you so much Durga I am very grateful to you my friend!
Hey! How sweet of you to say that. It’s was a pleasure to read your post. Have a happy day
You too my friend! xo
π€π
Wow. You’ve done it again.
Ah my friend you honor me thank you so much – I hope this has been a good weekend for you xo BIG HUGS
Not bad, thanks.
Awww and you too π
Here’s wishing you a good week ahead my friend – xo
Thank you! And to you xo
Powerful words!!!!
Ah thank you so much dear one for your lovely encouragement!
This was awesome!
Oh thank you so much my friend!
You’re most welcome, my dear. π
Such power in your words. Pain made expression. Incredible!
Thank you dear heart – lion heart – man of words.
I use them daily. I do, you know. π
π
I respect what you have written- this is why I take time to write something.Today your writings have touched a chord deep down- I will ponder long! Thank you…
Thank you very much for saying so! I appreciate you
Humble indeed. Thank you for your responses- sincerely appreciated.I am thankful that I may read as you are led to write.
Candice, these are very powerful and anguishingly reflective. Keith
Not so much sex today as emotion but i’m glad it has its place too – thank you Keith
I remember my eating disorder, anorexia, to be hungry but dismiss it because I wanted thinness so badly. The emotions were fierce and my bathroom scale dictated my daily feelings, it was never good enough, of course, and the feelings of devastation were endless. Dealing with that illness is difficult to understand, for when I was overweight I used to think “why don’t these people just eat?” Just not that simple. I’ve semi-recovered. Your poem has me reflecting on those years, and that was in my late ’50’s. Can happen to anyone.
The emotions are fierce when you are in such a malestrom aren’t they? It’s all about not feeling good enough, all of it, you’re so right. It isn’t that simple. I am glad you are semi-recovered and I wish you always peace and re
I love this:
“I pressed against you until struck back
vanquishing my urge with your violence”
Dear Iris thank you so much for your kind and much appreciated words!
Beautifully profound and insightful. π <3
Thank you so much my lovely friend
πβ€οΈ
There isn’t much more for me to say that everyone who commented, hasn’t already said. Beautiful, poignant, etc. Simply incredible again and again β€
Dearest Dorinda thank you so much my friend xo
Always my pleasure, Candice <3
This is a very powerful poem! Dwight
Dear Dwight, thank you so much my friend!
You are welcome!
Powerfully poignant wake-up call
We need it don’t we? π I believe we are listening (finally) xo
π
I can relate…
Thank you for your kind words and reading my work xo
Need to catch up with one of my favorite writers. π
“…when I was alive I did not feel alive
when I was dying I knew
how much time I had wasted
thinking of when
rather than why
and with whom”…these last lines resonate, so true.
Hope life has been treating you well my friend α¦
Brilliant! <3
Such powerful piece of art, marvelous Candice
Oh wow! π
The eternal battle! I welcome the day when Iβm not counting portions.
Check out my blog π
thank you so much!
My pleasure
This is amazing