marie-lise-diagonala
Go down
very far down
to the bottom of the sea
I shuck you off
zip up my boots
think of corn husks and masa and chili staining madder root
lips tarnished from pleasuring you
friend without the benefit of youth
I make you come even when you’re done
leash between us yoked at the throat
pain has long learned not to show
as macular degeneration steals acuity
we are what we want to see
but you are a poor vintage
you don’t convince the blind
we who cover ourselves in your outpouring
know more of you than crows
lining hot wire
know of the sky

0 Replies to “To the bottom”

  1. I’m wondering about the spacing on the last two lines. I mention that because sometimes I have the same issue. Where do I put the line break? Should I use a comma instead? It’s a pickle that I’m kinda familiar with in regards to poem/thought flow. Any ideas? Am I being too nitpicky? Does this make sense?

    1. I don’t see it but I sure appreciate your feedback as feedback helps us so much as writers, know what works for others rather than Just for ourselves ! Thank you! I’m not nitpicky at all so it can be useful hearing another closer inspection as i often go in the reverse direction because my parents were nitpicky and it out me off so as an adult I rejected it but every perspective has value and we can learn from other angles

  2. It was difficult for me to understand you language, but i liked a lot these tough and rude words, very expressive and impressive!
    I’ll read more of you…

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