The proverb

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

Was in my mind when
I chose to forgive a third time
it was easy to say “if you hurt me again”
fill in the blank
but promises only matter if the person intends
to keep them
with your borderline posed to strike
it was impossible to calculate
if I would be cast again into fire
the only chance
how I chose to see the play
sacrifice the Pawn
save the Queen
it’s not that I’m especially important
but cruelty
cruelty is perhaps the last sin
unforgiving as karma
shows you the way out
you didn’t know it was only you I forgave
the other one who scratched I cast
far into the ocean
didn’t need their infernal clamor
they, just wreckage from a bad storm
I unfortunate to pass by at the wrong time
you were different
there was always something in the depth
of your eyes and quiet strength
yes I confess
I wanted not to lose you
but I could have said the same
when my mom closed the door quietly
packed her bags and went
see, you think you have me figured
maybe you do
aside one element I keep pretty tight
I’m stronger than even I know
it’s what happens when you get used to
when you came and went third time and said
I don’t believe in you anymore
I don’t trust you
I think you’re shit basically
in the clear light of day I could see
this wasn’t about me
this wasn’t factual
sometimes others will believe
oh you must have something to do with it
just as the shallow person who told me
you’ve got a track record of being left
tried to leave her barb
what did she with her haikus know
of patterns? she needed rules to write
I had fucking wings
now she’s just
a taste in my throat I want to spit out
I grew up then when I learned
accusations may sting
but they’re not truth and those
who are weak enough to seize upon them
are just fools
with hypocrisy in their veins instead of blood
but you were different
you were my sister of the plains
we shared French blood
I admired you
it wasn’t enough
you cannot force someone to feel
or undo the damage wrought
in their mind before you met
it’s only necessary that you know
when it’s not because of you
which can be hard if you’re prone to guilt
that’s how we grow and develop armor
perhaps we won’t even trust
the next person who comes up
palms flat
asking for succor
or perhaps we will
because to shut the door
hurts only
the one who is left standing
when you tried to blow her down
erase her
when you hated yourself so much
you had to try to destroy
the mirror image
who refused
to shatter
stubbornly she still reflects
what you hate
about yourself and
what she loves
about you