You think me kind

tame even

and I am neither

within this burgundy frame lies a painting

still wet

within the painting, an emotion

still burning

years flicker by like novice dancers singeing toes

the only thing unchanging

the impression you formed, as if you reached in

and tore my heart out with your clenched fist

laughing at the ease with which you did it

years now rolled into mountains, unscalable

and you return over them, gone so long

where I had been safe tasting distance

thinking of you as you might

a dream unable to be pierced

there is something unbearable about

our almost proximity, I cannot pretend

it is easy to watch you and do nothing

as miles lent secure remove

but when you walk into a room

searching with your brown eyes

I trample self-control

space swallowed by your swell

raw music in the way you take a chunk out of life

and shine on dauntless

renders me ravenous

as sky torn in mockery lets loose

a torent

and it is this downpour

I find drowns me over

as if it were somehow amused

by how many times I will die

wishing I could change everything

bend you supple and willing

over the elogation of time

back to that girl I first beheld

walking up to me all hard ad soft

stretching out your hand and shaking mine

leaving behind enough to hold onto

all these years, a love letter without stamp

for no girl is you, for no girl is you

words kept in jars on high shelves

damning me to a world of whispers

where nothing but the actress in me

can ever really speak

16 Replies to “The actress in me”

  1. How wonderful!
    (and I want to say something about ‘singeing’ – but what? – about how ace and awkward it looks as a word!)
    🙂 x

  2. Thank you for saying so. I find it hard to motivate myself to keep writing because there are so many writers, and so much social media noise and sometimes you wonder ‘why?’ and I’m not much of a joiner. Then again it’s better than doing nothing – thank you dear one (I like the cat ears!)

  3. ha ha ha I totally agree Nick I thought the same! Thank you for reading this ox

  4. Omg but you haven’t. Not at all. I’ve just known you a long time and value you. So it’s a treat to hear from you. But you do not let anyone down. Never.

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