Learned early
How to let go
Always saying goodbye
Short twitches of time
I learned
Through closing french windows
Palid light playing in empty spaces
Where dust looks like a jewel and distance
Can be swept up with the debris clamoring to get there
Doing nothing honors nothing
So we packed our memories in minced words
The river poorly stretching like colourless yawn
You inhabited the past before a future existed
Leaving, the ambelical chord severed in a neat recoil
And I learned, as in your turn you learned and in your mother’s turn she knew
Not to expect the people who should love you, to stay
I am a string of colored glass about memories neck
And as the rocket becomes totem in rain swollen skies
I wish myself an astronaut
To propel from tierra and leave behind legacies
Of loss
On a hot night, my hand sweats the melting ice tonguing glass
And in our imagination
we are needed
Vouched for by a tight stitched safety net spread over jagged edges
I was told I said thank you and sorry too much
So I quit saying both
Though it was only a habit bourne from
Being from people who never apologized.
…
Letting go is the most familiar feeling I possess
I turn to it like a lined book and scribble my fears in its grimy recesses
And the hairbrush and night light you left behind
Burns out and stays as cold as walking around the house without socks
Clings and repels
Calling in sick
Staying absent there is more oxygen
Catch me if you can says the long distance runner
We who stop and start our watches, so many times
Much used joints ache prematurely
And the thrum of rain is a constant
Thread through memory books
Poised as young dancers
Will crane to catch
Every elongation of unfolding sound
It was what bonded us
Immediate, like transferred ink
Can’t be licked off
The intimate knowing of good-byes and loss
Its reverberation in unused spare rooms
Pacing emptiness and her poor assuage
Until it was our turn
To raise the knife and bring our uncertainty
Puncture through fine quill of transparency
Hurt has that synonym
A song playing on repeat
Forever tasked to jumping her needle