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(I took a long time to write this so it’s terribly late – I found it very hard to write. But it’s never too late to say how much you care about someone). This is for my beautiful and dear friend Natalie Scarberry who has left this earth and hopefully is out of pain and smiling down upon us from somewhere.

I have never meant to be selfish. I grew up knowing some very selfish people and I swore never to be like them. I think since I became ill I’ve had less and less time and energy for social media. Frankly I don’t know how you people do it. An hour of socializing online is my max and I have to work. I can’t seem to do all my work, run a household, balance life, make dinner, and spend as much time online as many people I know. (Although I equally know many who are never online). I realize if you don’t have a job or you’re retired it is easier than those of us who work, but I’m still amazed at how much time people can spend online.

Of the many I have met online since my first book was published (before then I was never online as much but it helps to promote) one person who touched me so much with her honesty and sincerity and true goodness was Natalie Scarberry. She spent a huge amount of time socializing online but it never felt like you were one if many. You always felt special. She had that angel’s ability of making everyone feel valued, she used to say it was because her mom did not value her, so she decided she would be the exact opposite and she truly was filled with light and love.

Despite being deeply devout she didn’t judge people who were gay or who weren’t Christian and she understood love in a way few do. From her generation and time that was so rare and she was the kind of person that truly made this world a better place. She was one of the most compassionate people I have had the fortune to know, and it was sincere. She was a wonderful gardener and her garden was a little Eden here on earth. She was one of the smartest, most caring and truthful people I have had the pleasure to know.

We have lost some incredible WP people including two Paul’s and dear Cynthia. I didn’t ever think I’d lose Natalie. And worse, because I’m rarely online long and rush to do things, I had not been in touch with her this last 4 weeks and she passed during that time.

I didn’t know. I am ashamed that I didn’t know. I should have done more. She was so worth it. Although any bodies life is worth it). I complain about others not caring when you’re sick and I was guilty of neglecting a magnificent woman.

Natalie. I don’t want to eulogize. You know how I feel. You made that same permanent mark in every life you touched. And I cared about you these long years. For your courage and honesty which cut to the truth and guided me so many times. I don’t get super close to people easily and you were family.

We who cherish you will never forget you my friend. Forgive me if you can for being so errant and offline these last few weeks when I should have been checking. I have no excuse. I never learned how to spend hours socializing online and that is why you and I wrote letters and sent cards and talked. But I am truly sorry I wasn’t there. And every time I drive through Ft. Worth it is you I shall always think of.

You once said your mom hadn’t much cared for you and we bonded over our moms not really liking us terribly much. Being a disappointment to them. Not understanding why they didn’t like us. I learned years ago from you Natalie, how to realize this isn’t personal even though it seems to be. It isn’t anyone’s fault. And my relationship with my mom was much better and brought us both some happiness for some years because of that. Even though she ultimately decided to end our relationship, there is no anger or hate on my part because of what you, Natalie, taught me. I value myself irrespective of whether my mom does and do not take her not wanting me in her life, personally. Your wisdom taught me to be okay with who I am without needing to hear that from someone else.

You had a brilliant sense of humor. I loved how you would always CUT TO THE HEART of things and write your truth, sometimes with lots of swear words! I found that so funny because you had such class but you were able to say it without reserve. I always knew you were honest because you didn’t mince words or say platitudes. Sometimes you would kick my butt and other times you would scold me but it was always in love. Furthermore you were a light so many reached for, with your daily quotes and thoughts, and your far reaching compassion. When I got sick you were one of few who checked on me regularly and cared – right up until you were sick yourself and had to spend more time taking care of that – although you never stopped caring for others, it’s just who you were.

I didn’t just value you for what you did for me. I valued your fighting words and your spirit. Your humor. Your deep faith. Your beautiful heart. I hope you know all that you did for all those in this world who love you. Your legacy will never die. I am terribly sorry I didn’t know you passed, I will miss you terribly but I truly believe your good heart will always be here with us. I pray for you and your family. Please know from all of us who loved you on WP that you will always be among us. Bless you dearest Natalie. There are not enough good people like you in this world and you made this world a better place for existing in it.

GO FROGS FOREVER. (TCU – we are both huge fans)

https://www.legacy.com/obituaries/name/natalie-scarberry-obituary?pid=192267253

www.sacredtouches.com RIP Natalie Scarberry

Something her daughter wrote after she passed; https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/119695645/posts/20618

A beautiful in memorium to Natalie from another WP writer https://planetdreamdiaries.wordpress.com/2019/04/08/heart-of-natalie/

And another beautiful tribute to our friend of colors https://wp.me/p8LpnW-4nF

0 Replies to “Natalie Scarberry”

    1. Very well said my friend and so true. I learned from Natalie to appreciate life. She lived more in her 77 years than most do. That at least is something. She was a wonderful human being and one of the first people I met on WP

  1. You have my most sincere condolences. I didn’t know her personally, but I did know how much you adored her and she, you.

    Peace and blessings. I hope her friends and family will find solace in the memories they have and that they’ll grieve as much as necessary. This is truly sad news.

    1. Thank you so much dearest Tre. I really appreciate your lovely words. I felt so distraught to hear she had passed, we talked before she went into hospital and then I wasn’t checking like I ought to have, because of my relapses (no excuse) and then I found out and both I and Monique who was also close to her, were stunned. I cannot imagine this world without her. Thank you so much my friend.

      1. You’re very welcome. You were there. You have been there. I am sure her soul knows that deeply. Don’t be so hard on yourself for too long.

        💙

        1. I know. And she understood as she had the same thing where she could not check on me because she was sick – I couldn’t believe it when she got sick because she had more life and fire in her than most. I know she lived more in 77 years than most of us and she was such a valued member of the WP family. I can’t believe she’s gone – thank you for caring. You have the same gorgeous heart she did and that is why people like you make this world better just by existing. Love you T.

  2. Someone I wish I had not missed knowing, and very grateful that you did know her. Such people as she are the true immortals through the beautiful marks they leave on others.

    1. Ah i am sorry you did not know her, she was more youthful than any of us, in her soul and she taught me things almost with the innocence of a child. She will continue to leave her beautiful marks you are so right about that. I know you would have liked her very, very much she had not an ounce of deception in her. That is very rare.

  3. Hello sweet Feather.

    What you wrote was beautiful and could have come out the very same mouth of mine. If you knew Natalie (I call her Bitty) as I did/do, and I believe you do based upon your words of her and how she touched you and other means of being in touch, then you have to know that she’d be telling you … either strongly, kindly, jokingly or tenaciously that there’s no reason to apologize, and that there is absolutely nothing wrong that you did – you were living your life, and she loved when people lived their life. It was only due to my own life circumstances and the bond we built (which sounds much like the one you did), that I’d been honored, grateful, humbled and feel blessed to have gone through each day of the last year of her life speaking with her (and the circumstances allowing me to were not circumstances that were pleasant, up until the last moments that she could.

    I was not able to get to TX while she was still with us, and though in touch with her daughter continuously, and worried about her husband, as you know she would be, and I struggled with that choice deeply. Everything was set for me to go, I had everything organized and in the know for what I needed to leave and then once I arrived, but with each day that brought on more and more pain to her family, I felt strongly that no matter what I felt I needed to do, her family deserved their time. I fought very hard on that decision for a week, then 2, then 3. Each time making the same decision, her family deserves this time, and how humbled was I that she shared with them my bond with her and how they honored that love and spoke with me each day, allowing me to be a part of something as a near stranger to them was a gift. About 3 weeks later I lost it. I’d been grieving pretty badly, (missing her presence and going through all of the “goings on” up to, and then while in, the hospital.) I began to feel regret – a word you speak of, or describe many times in your absolutely beautifully transparent, genuine and perfectly expressed post. I cried to her daughter, I became angry at myself that I wasn’t there, I felt sadness that I wasn’t there, I felt loss that I wasn’t there. It was a day of nothing, but tears and regret. By the next day I knew that not only was Natalie filled with enormous faith, but that I am as well … enormous spiritual faith (non-religious, yet no less faith filled). Through that faith, my reality, I believe that she knows how we feel, what we feel, and matters such as you feeling regret or anything else . If we think she was all love while in the physical (and she surely was, in countless ways, and was also extremely darn funny) then imagine the pure and unjudging love she is now. A shining star too bright for our human eyes. She understood everything, she was grateful to be treasured, timing didn’t matter.

    Your love for her, and the impact she had on your life not only sounds family, very – but it was also yours and yours alone, your own personal bond with her and who and what she meant to you, what she was to you, how you saw her, felt her and knew her was yours and yours alone. Feel no regret sweet feather, knowing you and experiencing you, was enough for Natalie – she loved love, and she understood, was astute, extremely understanding and divinely knowing.

    Bless your heart and your sorrow for the loss of your dear friend. You couldn’t have chosen more eloquent writing, any more descriptive words, or have been anymore genuine. We certainly did lose an Earth Angel, but we gained a Spiritual one.

    Thank you for linking my tribute to her. I appreciate that very much. ❣

    Comfort, healing and forgiving yourself for nothing you did wrong … be with you. 💝

    1. Maybe Natalie will be glad you and I are now in touch after she and I were, and you and her were. This is how she would want it. I am glad for the gift of you. I think things happen for a reason. I knew about you via WP and she loved you very, very much. I know what you mean but you must never feel badly about not going I think you made a very brave and honest decision and the right one, she knew how much you cared and nothing changes that – nothing – so you have absolutely nothing to feel badly for – you gave her more love than many including some of her own family of origin (not her husband or daughter of course – you know what I mean) and that would have kept her in the light far more than even you may realize. It cut both ways, just as she was there for you, you were there for her. As her friend I am so glad she had someone like you in her life to be honest because you sound like a brilliant friend and she deserved that. I thought your song and words were so moving you inspired me and I thank you so much for that and for your good heart and lovely soul. No wonder she loved you so much –

  4. I celebrate her birth to the other side and feel sadness here on earth. She was a remarkable woman and had a tremendous impact on me. Such a sweet lady we have lost. Here is to her flight. <3

    1. Ah my friend. Such beautiful words. I love your words here. I know why you can write this. My heart is with you. I’m so glad you knew her also, though it does not surprise me, as you gravitate toward the light like she did. She was so dear to me, and continues to be, as they are never truly ‘gone’ and you are right, about the impact. I am so glad you received that. I am sending you so much love

    1. I am so very sorry to hear this dearest Andrew. We are a little WP family here and it is terribly hard when this happens. You are a VERY good friend i am sure that the person in your life was richer for knowing you. xxx

  5. Sincere condolences… I didn’t know Natalie, but your good words for her give a very good sense of what she was like with the people around her. I am sorry for your loss, and I hope all the good things she brought to your life and the lives of others will live on in your heart, She obviously was a very special lady, may she rest in peace and keep an eye on all of you from where she is now…. *hugs*

  6. Thank you for visiting a post on my blog where I’d shared some wisdom from Natalie. I’ve returned the visit to your blog and find that Natalie has passed away, and I’m deeply shocked. I’m also comforted, knowing how much she loved God and now she is truly home. We shared a love of colour – I hope she’s finding lots of colour in her new home. I’m glad I have three posts on my blog that share her colour and insight.

    1. You do and you cared about her and as I was, you are shocked at her passing, and it is just very, very sad but I truly believe she LIVED so richly in those 77 years – with color. Thank you for being her friend – she was so worth it and continues to be. I was deeply shocked also and felt awful that I had missed it, but in truth, if we cared about her, that is WHAT counts most. xo

      1. I’ve decided I’m going to do a little blog-post as a tribute to Natalie. It’ll be simple, one garden photo and a few appreciate words. But I wondered if I could quote two paragraphs of yours (from “Of the many” to “pleasure to know”). And I’d link back to your post and credit with your name (if you tell me) or with your blog name only if you prefer. Would you allow me to do this?

  7. I must tell you how God worked through you to speak some sense to me. First, what a loving remembrance of a dear friend! She sounds like an angel, and that is what I needed to digest-the fact that I am not a bad person, even though I have struggled as of late to find a compadre, as I’m afraid I cleaned house as my self esteem returned. Anyway, your words for Natalie were the very same my husband used for me, earlier today. As I read I wept openly in front of my husband, and then read your blog to him. Thank you for this, I love you and am desperately sorry for your loss.

    1. Dearest Sara. Self esteem and feeling you are not a bad person is so important and some never know how hard it is for the rest of us. I am glad that your husband believes in you and holds you to the light. We learn from the best and we learn from love. I think people can speak to us in indirect ways that help us so much. Bless you dear Sara.

  8. She sounds like someone I would have liked to get to know! ((hugs)) for you, dear Candice. ❤ I hope your sorrow doesn’t cut too deep.

  9. Hi again.. what I’ve done is I’ve written my tribute (which I’ll publish soon) and I’ve put a link at the end to your post. Some of my followers did follow Sacred Touches and may find some comfort in the beautiful words you’ve shared. Thank you

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