There was a woman who had five children
a thriving career and a clean house
who could cook for fifty guests and still
find time to drink wine by the pool
she earned her life as fishermen
pull their catch from the ocean
twitching in multicolored lust
reluctant to be garnered
it took a great effort to be everything to everyone
and so she stayed until disease grew like a weed
within her chest and despite fighting
she lost
I wondered afterward
standing by her memory like a mirror
etching granite thought
why life was so unyielding in its give and take?
like a cruelty
reducing effort to ash and rewarding
the indolent cat who purchases laziness
I could never have been
as full as her nor fought as long
I did not have her endurance, strength and will
to conquer life
flaming from her nostrils and burning desire
and yet it is she who dies
prematurely, leaving behind grieving hearts
when I would hardly stir a sail with my absence
in the grand scheme of a world that is
not grand but fond of scheming
something doesn’t seem right about the way things play out
randomness cannot answer injustice or
why some are able to live with so much
while others struggle to wake up and touch the floor of day
perhaps in that singularity and opposition
lies the answer
she lived more in fifty years than I
ever could, reaching vainly
even if I tried every day like an acrobat
desirous to spin above the void
which I do, falling short
not the girl who slurps ice cream to its stick with lavish noise
any wonder why then, some
consider Gods mighty chess players
merciless in their sport
of our small and absurd selves
floundering beneath with taut marionette strings
blown by a strange wind
percolating from unseen place

0 Replies to “Full tilt”

  1. Candice this was so deep. One day I will write as good as you. I might not make masterpieces of my art, but I will try. One of a kind Candice, you are one of a kind. Stay YOU

  2. This makes me sad for so many reasons. Your absence would absolutely “stir a sail. . .in the grand scheme” of my world. The irony of course is that you always feel like a shooting star to me and I always feel so embedded in the boring and mundane.

    1. This is why you are my emotional doupleganger because you ‘get’ the sadness within this where others may not. I know you ‘get’ me in a way I hope you know I ‘get’ you and as such, we are less lonely for it. You are so far from being boring and mudane it makes me crack up and laugh like a mad hen.

      1. I am deeply grateful that Olde Punk told me to check you out and that you were willing to make room in your life for me. You are a shining star and not just because you write poetry that makes my brain explode. You do make me feel less lonely and very few people are able to do that. <3

        1. Wow I feel very emotional in a good way reading this. I feel at a loss for words also which is also a good thing. To think anything I write could make a person whom I think very talented and creative, feel this way, is a wonderful feeling of accomplishment which I rarely get! As with you I do not feel less lonely in a crowd or with most people – I have often wondered why. Could it be sympatico? If so, then I must say I share this sentiment. (thank you thank you so much)

        1. ha ha ha! That’s a funny image. You can talk! Although I know you lay down the boogie that’s your coping mechanism, mine used to be red wine (looks around for new coping mechanism and locates turn-table)

  3. One of the great questions that has no answer. Don’t look for one. The only people who have an explanation will contradict themselves—God doesn’t intervene in our affairs not even to stop genocides/God is goodness and mercy—just ask nicely and you will receive.

    1. Ha! Well said my friend! I liked this answer. I must agree – those who think they know may contradict themselves (I have often felt this, you put it into words) I see the irony flirting at the corners of your response 😉

          1. The one with the brain tumor – she’s been through hell – but she’s a fighter and very strong and she’s definitely a whole heck of a lot better – doing great actually I’m so proud of her – I go with her so that there is always someone else to witness what the docs say and do just incase.

  4. Oh wow! This is so beautiful and so powerful and deep! I loved every single line!! So good! I also wonder sometimes why the good people go and others stay here, maybe it has something to do with the balance, or something else. I guess people will never know..

  5. Asking that question that we are all speechless before. Surely this is partly the reason for all religion, a hope to redress the fickleness and unfairness of fate. Excellent

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