Before, it would vex me when my nose ran and I didn’t have a tissue
when the tap dripped and no matter how I jiggled it, the drip drip drip would perpetuate, leaving a little rust stain, impossible to clean
when the cat would kick his litter out and eating fast, his food would spill, over the side, as he bent to consume just to again use and befowl
his cycle of eat/pee/poo seemed deliberately artful as if should he speak he’d say; that’s what I think of you
I would be annoyed at myself, when I forgot to latch the garden gate after mowing
and at night hear the sound of things moving, wondering at the fragility of life, should something creep up and strike
how easy to be hit by speeding car or thunder bolt, I spent far too long worrying the clouds of their impending storm
before, I would stand in front of tiny mirror, angled at my waist-line muttering things, without knowing how shallow I’d become
the baubles and the bells and whistles, trappings of someone as yet to acknowledge herself
just the illusion, the dress, the costume
I built castles and didn’t consider the ground
I forgot the child’s dear wish to fly and thought only of earthly options
my head was packed with good sense and no dreams
it mattered more that I possessed signs and wonders than to be real
in time as our tinsel fades and the corners of our smile grow brittle
when challenges mount formerly wrinkle free forehead
we stand so far from truth we could not hear if it shouted
come back from the festival, where drunk on yourself you see
only reflections of you in the carnival mirror of the sea
spend time stripped of your attachments and awards
they serve no purpose when they matter not at all
stand a while with nothing, sense the pleasure of a day
born only once
the joy of survival
a moment without pain
where like children we find wonder
In those days of simplicity beneath the sun
before we learned to live so thin, nutrition coming from emptiness
before it would vex me that the bulb needed replacing, garbage taken out, the dried remainder of eggs did not come off breakfast plate
and now
I smile when for a moment I am peaceful and the lap of night winks closed for another day to unfold, the first strain of pink ushering dawn
and hope
for it takes only one change, for all.