Pain killers did not play a part in my death
You
Featured, light fizuring definition, as star
You captured my appetite in a jar
Left it to pickle sour
We dissected my heart and ate slivers
Outside, like a fevered tongue
Merrymakers ran and dragged
Confetti and plastic cups of eels
Young girls with birthing stretch marks, shaking double chins
If they had three lifetimes it would still not be enough
To celebrate their unfolding life of cards
Queen of Hearts, she sat watching oragami crowds
Easier to be cloud cover, sensing rain in the air
The quiet of needing to say nothing, emptied of small talk
She didn’t need to ever attend a party again
That was another version of her out there in time
Straining to be a light bulb
Her long dangling line
Fishing for fragments of who she had been
How did a wizz, bang, bang, pop, crack, fizzle girl
Turn into a wig combing mannequin?
From dancing drizzled with pink champagne, the uppers in her blood churning red
To planting rows of onions and dragonflies, obscured by garden net
Oh she would
Knit herself a ship
Sailing on and on
Paint herself a sea
Rounding over water with butter knife
A transfer from disco ball, to stay and burrow in
Flying overhead, a stray kite, looping the void
Things of nonsense and flight, once she was weightless, then heavy with seed
When it spilt like a tearing river, a part of her she no longer needed
Tore away, a feeble arc of motion, the arrythmia of nameless distress
Catching the air, lifting, cavorting above caucophany
Trying out her wings