Love can be the greatest feeling in the world
love can be a lie
and when love is a lie
it can rip you to shreds or enable you to rip yourself
because love isn’t quantifiable
therefore you may never know
who it is who guts you and slays you; Is it you? Is it love?
how can a feeling have the power to empty you of hope?
or leave you ransacked
how can an emotion
something that can’t be touched, or jarred or bottled
hold such sway?
cut with deep scythe, parts you thought impossible to reach
was it the other? Did they own the power
or was it giving them permission? To dictate an emotion
or is love, proof of being human
and the sorrow of that and the beauty of that
a very human trait, along with hate and indifference
which at times seem, to take the place of love
and when your eyes, look at me and there is no movement
only the wearing down of time, a series of frustrations
when you fidget and seem to want, to be anywhere but here
I imagine you in years to come, remembering nothing of us
then I wish I had no capacity for love, I wish I had pretended all along
replaced my heart with coal
but it was never an object, never something you could hold
love was almost a virus
you walked into the room
and I caught it
the fever and the aches
they may never leave me
now I have a relationship with them
in absence of you, I’ll find myself inheriting memories
wondering how, some people walk away, almost light-footed
and others stand in place and burn, the oxygen all gone
unable to speak the words
of loss