I write thee in remembrance
for fourscore years you kept me prisoner
and I held you in esteem
(purge the love / hate the sin)
like any love affair we only broke up
when I wiped the vaseline from the lens
distortion revealing her bent
a thin and lost emotion
buried like an apricot stone
in the pit of my stomach
where a wan tree grew
and nourished me toward
the sky
sometimes I am reminded
of the tight hold you had
like reigns on a horse will
cause them to drive ever forward
even when removed

0 Replies to “Ode to a former eating disorder”

  1. “Cause them to drive ever forward, even when reigns removed” wonderful analogy of how illness and recovery are so connected. And the ” love affair” wonderfully describes how an illness can come to feel so normal. Thank you for sharing your gifts!

  2. “A thin and lost emotion
    buried like an apricot stone
    in the pit of my stomach
    where a wan tree grew
    and nourished me toward
    the sky”
    Your writing is just so good. And this is brilliant because so many people still don’t understand eating disorders. They really do think it’s a question of “getting over it and polishing off a plate of pasta ffs!”

  3. This is the correct weblog for anyone who hopes to be made aware of this topic. You know so much its nearly tough to argue on hand (not that I really would want…HaHa). You definitely put a fresh spin using a topic thats been revealed for many years. Wonderful stuff, just excellent!

  4. your words are miraculous. i am in recovery, and i am so grateful to have found your blog. though you may never see this comment, as you probably get so many every waking moment, just know that i am sending you all the hope and courage in the world. thank you for fighting and living and existing and shining. πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™

    1. Dearest Birdy. ( The film Birdy is one of my favorites, have you seen it?). Thank you so very much for your support and encouragement πŸ’“ I am proud of you for your recovery. You can do this. It may at times seem Impossible but you can. If ever you want to talk please email me at Candicelouisa@rocketmail.com we gain strength by supporting each other. You are not alone.

      1. your words and support are felt within me so wholly and so beautifully. thank you, dear. you are so right. we help others by fighting for our own light, and therefore giving unconscious permission for others to rise from their own ashes, too. thank you thank you. πŸ’™πŸ’™ we are never alone. and i would love to email you. thank you endlessly.

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