How early morning light
Discovers a new pucker, a fine line
The crepe of hands unwrung from fear
Too many years I was hostage to you
Terror
Thinking age would only color more vivid
That anxious sickness, a trembling nerve
Raw to this unforgiving gallivant
Pills can only gloss over the root
Purple and bruised
It is not enough to look away
You will meet in unguarded moment
Yourself
Bilious with trepidation of this gift of life
We have 
Glass blowers of naught and much
Configured our trajectories
To eliminate handling this butchers theatre
We poise through fingers held before our eyes
Seeing segments and no practice of
Wholeness
Given to calm souls
Seeking just enough
I do not know how
To carve peace
Like a white horse out of chalky cliffs side
To stand as marker 
When the sea gathers her cockled skirts and rises
Over our heads
**
As a child I wet the bed
In roacharch patterns
One was a tiger
The other a shooting star 
And as I stood craning my neck to see 
The tiger clamped onto my small foot and dragged me beneath
Where only fear and marbles lay
Without direction or elucidate
My nightgown became a map bleached of purpose, bleating surrender
My hands grew like midnight iris, long and stray
Unable to capture magnification
**
We learn our hobble
We embrace killer 
Of playtime
Sketching devil’s from unknowns
Casting deep nets with myriad holes
Surely nothing alive
Shall follow our wake
As Persephone
It is in the silt at the bottom we stay
Conned by shadows into believing
The fur lined pockets of nightmares
** 
With this lantern
Pressed against a desire to scream
Abandon effort, rebuke change
For how foolish we feel
Naked again, starting over like blind mice
For how scared the taste
Of difference
So long appeased by secluded ideal
Poisoning thatched way
As we think we know, we undo
The signs and wonder
Glimmering in transit, should we observe
It is 
Never too late
To learn 
The effort of 
Fighting against
Fear
She only survives when
In our desperate cast we 
Feed her habit 
**
I turn 
Away
Lowering my hands from my face
Seeing without mask 
The fullness of being afraid
Staying steadfast
One foot in front of the other
Forms
Links of intention
A necklace
Keeping us together
Though wind and rain comes
We seek the hour when it will be
True
Unmade of nerved past
A natural walk 
Simply forward

0 Replies to “Simply forward”

  1. ‘To carve peace
    Like a white horse out of chalky cliffs side
    To stand as marker
    When the sea gathers her cockled skirts and rises
    Over our heads’
    Hang onto beautiful images like this one.

  2. You could have said only this and the message would’ve been loud and clear:
    “As a child I wet the bed
    In roacharch patterns
    One was a tiger
    The other a shooting star
    And as I stood craning my neck to see
    The tiger clamped onto my small foot and dragged me beneath
    Where only fear and marbles lay
    Without direction or elucidate
    My nightgown became a map bleached of purpose”
    However, you took it further and built on metaphors and analogies and amplified the poem’s strength. You do that well.

  3. I love your long pieces.
    A raw and emotional writing but still expressed beautiful by you candy girl. You are in my prayers and I am cheering you on I know you are going to be ok. I believe it with all my heart I adore you. Keep on getting better but don’t over do it take your time writing will always be here but you my friend are more important. Love you :)soft bug hugs

  4. “She only survives when
    In our desperate cast
    We feed her habit”
    So true. Facing and knowing our fear we can respond from a different place but it does take nerve. I also used to wet the bed, and I know now how scared I was for so many years but that fear could never be known or expressed. Powerful!

    1. You are such a kindness in my life, reading my work and your appreciation for my words – thank you so much. I hope you know I feel the same way and it is so empowering to encourage one another to keep going and writing it out. Thank you so much dear one, you are so appreciated.

  5. Fair winds and following seas, Shieldmaiden. My greatest hope always is to see you prosper and progress. Safe and beautiful and loved. ❀

  6. So rich with images, experience, survival of all the emotions life has dealt you…. your words always amaze and astound me. My deepest admiration, Candice, for your raw, honest poetry. πŸ’•

    1. Dearest Betty, your support and kind emails helped me through a very dark time and I hope you know that is so appreciated and made a BIG difference not to mention keeping me afloat. Thank you. I am on a road to healing and I hope it will be a complete one. I am both grateful and changed, some of that for the better, as from darkness comes light. HUGE HUG to my dear friend whom I cherish

      1. Candice, I’m just so glad you’re doing better. My only wish is that I could’ve helped more somehow. Please take good care as you continue to heal and get your strength back. Love to you! πŸ’•

  7. Brilliance, pure brilliance!!! You never fail to dig down deep in those places of profound hurt in you and then like cream rise to the top triumphant and hopeful!!! I stand in awe and adoration!!! Love and hugs, N πŸ™‚ <3 xoxoxoxoxoxo

    1. Dearest Purple Girl, today’s post touches on the why’s behind any insight or healing, and you are one who I must thank until the end of time for helping me through the darkness. Without which I don’t think I would have emerged. Thank you so much. I intend to thank you in person before too long, nothing less will do.

      1. My pleasure sweet girl. I hope you thank the Lord too for we were working hand hand to bring you through the darkness! I’m so thrilled that He answered my prayers and that you are finally coming back into the light! MUAH XOXOXOXOXO

    1. Dearest Derrick, I must thank you my friend for your loyal keeping in touch during this rough sea. Your words as I felt I was drowning, were often a real beacon and I cannot underestimate the value of a caring soul when you are going through rough times. My recent post illustrates a little of this in the hope that things will change in our current medical field. Thank you so much. I am remaining positive and really feeling so. I am very, very, very grateful for YOU

  8. Candice , I am so so sorry you had to endure this ordeal. I had no idea you had been so ill..
    And I see this more and more through my USA WP family of friends happening within your healthcare system.
    I hope you are now well on the way to recovery.. And hope you continue to regain your strength.. And sending you love and healing thoughts Candice..
    Love and hugs Sue xx

  9. Oh! this page seemed to have jumped Candice as I was commenting upon your A room with a view post which at first refused to acknowledge me and said my comment was not approved.. I then tried again and landed up here.. xxx
    Sending love.. <3

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