Had you asked me
To embrace the idea of dying, before allotted time
I’d have said, no savage emotion, ever led me that far
It was as if
I skated every so often, on thin ice of sadness
Without being absorbed, to its fathomless hollow
In that singular experience, I was far luckier
Than those who see only darkness
I had claimed my own piece of light
From a family legacy hell bent on repeating, the same shrouded walk.
From the start I altered trajectory, a mix of stubbornness and fear
For some will be proud of where they came, their strong willed ancestral history
And others … wish it wasn’t so … spend their lives trying to be anything else
I tried so hard, skin chaffed from my fingers, plucking my own way.
So you can imagine the depth of grief, felt reaching that same temporal state
Of wishing to ease the stir of life, by death’s permanent wick.
Often it is not the same course
Brings you to a well travelled place
But the last thing you’d expect
A sudden illness, like a thimble that lets in needle
As sharply she infiltrates your well being
Until hollow cheeked you are wretched, begging for end
On that day it so happened
The sky was the kind of blue dreams are made of
Emptied leaves reached up to embrace the rays
Newly returned birds called full throated to the world
And sitting with a desire to die, and place pain forever gone
I felt the sun on my face, heard the russle of last year’s leaves
My fatigue whispered, do it now!
And I did not listen
Because I truly wanted
To stay sitting in the sun
Another day more
27 Replies to “Another day more”
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Beautiful! Prayers for many more days in the sun!
A powerful reflection that eloquently transforms pain and deep suffering into peace and beauty. <3
Reason enough, to stay feeling the sun. Beautifully expounded.
Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
TheFeatheredSleep – “To stay sitting in the sun”
Such resilience within despair
Beautiful! May we appreciate each day in the sun…it could be our last.
Deeply and truly beautiful.
Beautiful my friend… I understand this feeling so well and glad you are in my life <3
As I am your friend and glad you exist and continue to inspire this world with YOU.
How right you are my friend. Long may you be in the sunlight. xo
Today more despair but I try! 😉 (thank you)
Thank you dearest Bob
I try 🙂 That’s all we can do isn’t it? Today I think the darkness won – but maybe there will be other sunshine days to attempt. Thank you for your support and friendship is means a great deal to me.
Thank you dearest Carol
For you most of all my friend – and I believe they will come (and not just because of where you live!)
You’re very welcome, and much appreciated.
<3
So many have been in that place at least once in their lives and then the Lord sends something or someone across our path the change it all. I’m so glad you decided to stayl 🙂 <3
So eloquent and beautiful. To find the little joys in life in spite of illness and suffering – that’s what makes us even more alive. It sounds counter-intuitive but life actually becomes richer, deeper. I can relate, and now live for those days in the sun, for trees, flowers and birds. Life becomes more precious. Sending you love and hugs, Candice. ❤️❤️
Beautifully written and enlightening!
Aah the soothing warmth of the sun to heal aches and pains …
You are so kind. I am very grateful.
I truly agree – I also think the people who love us are what keeps us going so often. I love you my friend. Each and every day.
You’re the kind of writer and reader that makes WP so good.
Candice Louisa,
This one was like grabbing the last page of a letter to a secret lover.
Shared thoughts on hidden things not discussed with anyone else.
More sadness, though.
So, yes, stay in the sun.
Please don’t go anywhere but here.
Larry
<3
Larry I missed you thank you my friend 💓
So beautiful and heartfelt ❤️
Praying sunshine all around you 💕