(We’re in our 4th day of power and water outages here in TX but I had written this just before so I’m posting it now via my phone:)

I understand when people submit work to the publishing company I work with and they are rejected and feel badly. I understand because there is a formula in the publishing world that goes something like this;

If you are the IT person of the moment, if you possess the right age, gender, skin color, ethnicity, immigration status, political affiliation, tattoos, etc., etc., then you might get published on that basis alone. Whether good or bad, you are the dish du jour.

If you are not the above, then you either graft away for years, building a network until you are published. Or you give up.

But in between those extremes, there are those like myself who work long full time jobs and still want to occasionally publish something. We submit to submission calls periodically and many times are astounded at the rudeness of rejections. Or watch as less talented folk get published because of ‘who they know’ or they fit a criterion.

When we produced The Kali Project, we were told by many, that we were ‘so polite and thoughtful’ which saddened us to think (and know from personal experience) how unkind the publishing world can be and how it doesn’t have to be.

Why would you want to tear someone down just because you can?

We receive some really ‘poor’ work but we always treat people with respect. It’s surprisingly easy to do. Many ‘poor’ writers end up becoming quite accomplished, if you give them encouragement to improve.

Recently I was recommended to a publisher by an agent friend of mine, as being a good place to submit my own fictional book. The response to my submission was: “We did not find this interesting at all and have no wish to pursue.” Granted, that must be their opinion and they absolutely have a right to it, but could they have said it differently? Given 3 large heads in publishing pushed me to try to get the book published, I’m pretty sure it’s not without merit. There are just better ways of responding.

A dear friend of mine who is a famous, published writer, told me one of her first books was reviled by over 100 publishers before a small publisher took a risk and now, she’s a worldwide best-selling author. So, if this happens to you and trustworthy people have said you have talent, don’t let it stop you.

It is so easy to tear someone down and so easy to build them up. I don’t contribute as much as I would like to this world but I hope I support others and encourage them if nothing else. Obviously positive-criticism has a strong place at the table. But cruelty should not.

100 Replies to “A dying art”

  1. I agree 100% with this. There are ways of rejecting someone that preserves humanity of the arts. One doesn’t have to tear another down to reject the work. This is a solid post, Candice. Thank you for sharing it.

  2. Which brings us to this…It’s not what you say, but how you say it. Good post. Be safe, hope your conditions in Texas improve soon.

  3. We have family just outside of Dallas. So sorry for what you are all going through. Hopefully, warmer days will be in your near future.

  4. Hi Candice – as ‘old & bald’ I don’t fit too many criteria! I’ve taken a chance or two to talk face to face with agents and publishers at the London Book Fair over the years – formulistic I’d say a common trait – I did enjoy their double-takes though when multi-million seller authors said ‘Hi’ to me – connections built over years – and like you, knowing one or two when they were just starting out. You take care – it’s been a while I know – but once known you always are. Eric.

  5. You are so right. There is a way to do things and still show compassion. Prayers are with you going thru the Winter storms. My family in San Antonio TX, they’ve never seen anything like this before. Happy writing as I too find myself going thru rejections but, still here I am.

  6. Thank you very much. I worried about saying anything as it’s almost a subject we are bid never talk of, but there are ways of doing things that are humane and that’s what I think we should always aspire to xo

  7. Very true. I have seen middle aged white men turned down because they are middle aged white men and that saddens me as it’s so politically correct and missing of the purpose which is surely the quality of writing. But that’s the way it’s always been and I do understand it’s about what people want as a writer as much as what is being written. That said, the real issue is how a rejection is phrased. It doesn’t take much to be kind and hopeful. xo xo

  8. Oh it’s been an adventure, nothing too bad really but I do feel sorry for those who don’t have left over clothing from living in Canada! I count myself very lucky comparatively I know they get it worse in DALLAS. Hoping everyone in your family is all right.

  9. And now I know, where does this positive spirit of yours comes from. Because you have tasted the sins. Because you have been there! You know, that harsh methods always tear someone apart. I see Rupi Kaur and I fucking laugh on the fact that people call it poetry. It can be anything, affirmations, quotes BUT POETRY! And you my friend, what a stunner you are. Yes, these people don’t know the essence of kindness, staying humble maybe. Its a sad sad world with kindness no where. And then, people like you shall win. They shall make it, no matter what!

  10. thank you dearling I do think it’s a shame that there’s this cult of personality or whatever it is. but we know it’s not indicative of talent because we’ve all seen those with true talent been passed by. I just think if we are decent with each other and kind it goes a long way!

  11. It is an all too frequent sadness to observe how dismissiveness and even cruelty are used when kindness and respect would be as easy, and especially in the arts, when small acts of mentor-ship and encouragement do help the beginner. Few, even among those who grow into masters, begin with works of genius.

  12. Perhaps they have no need for encouragement and sensitivity themselves and aren’t interested in others. I do hope you see this and get your power back soon

  13. Great post Candice! Reminds me of a song or album title – “A Ten Year Overnight Success!”. People forget or don’t know how many people turned down J.K. Rowling and “Harry Potter” or those that rejected album deals with The Beatles. The best inspirational advice in the world is akin to your post here – NEVER GIVE UP!
    xoxo 😘💕🌹

  14. JK Rowling’s story is a once in a life time and those who want to be like her, may be better to think of the percentages of people who succeed like her, but I agree my friend its always good to never give up! xo Thank you so much for writing

  15. I’ve thought about this post for a couple of days. You’re right. I’m not sure if it’s psychology or tradition that can make people so cruel. But by nurturing someone doesn’t mean you are adopting them. It ultimately keeps art alive. The oddest rejection I got was from a magazine that I’ve loved for years. They said something like, “We don’t exactly know how we come up with our picks.” I didn’t know if I should have laughed. But it was amusing. Thank you for being thoughtful.

  16. Sometimes I find that the world is so disrespectful, it surprises me when I see the opposite. It’s almost like learning something new.

  17. perfect way of seeing/saying it. I agree. I tend to think EXACTLY that. Respect like a man’s/woman’s honor/word where your word is your bond, you only have your honor – without respect how can you be this? How can you achieve this? But somehow being respectful is antiquated or redundant? And people have such galvanized joy in being disrespectful? I don’t get that. I’m really glad I don’t get that!

  18. How can I learn to be honorable in a world that feels so split? Sometimes it’s hard for me to track whether or not I’m honoring myself. In the long run, humans seem kind of out of control. I really could go on about this topic. But eventually I just sound like I’m complaining. Then it’s followed up with “I wish…” which really is sort of weak, you know?

  19. I really could go on about this as well so I know where you are coming from. It seems to me humans ARE out of control. Because we think we are the Apex who have some type of right, where we really don’t anymore than the cockroach which at times we really resemble. People quash those views, saying they are reductionist and negative, but we do more harm than most, and propel ourselves ever further, so how can that not be worth mentioning? Truth doesn’t have to be negative, just realistic. I understand what you mean. People say you are complaining because they are happy putting their heads in sand. I would say you are truthsaying and that is entirely different and has much worth. For what it is worth. I also know that saying ‘I wish’ does sound ill-defined but I wouldn’t say wish sounds weak – anymore than John Lennon’s Imagine. Which really when you think about it, isn’t weak. It’s brave.

  20. I think I could talk with you for hours! Well. I think it’s all worth considering and bringing out into the open. Even now, people want to move past the pandemic and back to normal. The keyword is “back.” I’m certain our best lives haven’t even been conceived yet.

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